Here is my feedback:
1. Shite; and
2. Community.
Shite
1. Yes, I had a shite time,
with enough much muck and dirt to remind me of a childhood filled
with "shite" memories, herding cattle and sheep around muddy fields
every Sunday mornings after suffering yet another church sermon on
hell and damnation. Little did I think all those years ago that I
would one day be running around, through and under similar sized
fields (but a tad bigger by a multiple of 10, 20 ..) and paying for
the privilege! My father would think me mad.... he thought that
anyway. Only an English man could invent such an event as the
Druids Challenge and or the Tough Guy Challenge (amazing fun) and
get a certain type of person to sign up for and pay for it.
May I say now and on record, that if any of you feels the need to do
something of a similar nature in the near future, then contact me
... on my phone (I am not a druid) and I will put them in touch (via
phone and in some instances e-mail) with an Irish farmer. Said
farmer can think of nothing better to do on a wet and miserable day
but get you to chase/herd stupid cattle and sheep around muddy
fields. For good measure these same Irish Farmers will shout lots of
words of abuse/encouragement at you as the Irish are great believers
in Theory X. Think of father Ted on steroids and you will get the
picture of what awaits you.
However, I did forget to mention that
the word "shite" is a very positive word in the Irish version of
Queens English with very positive connotations, rather like the
words "deadly" and "brutal"; words that could also be used to good
effect to describe the weekend. Shite it not only a 100% organic
material, but it also is great for growing things. All Irishmen
talk/emit it in great volumes in a gas version which could be sold
as an alternative fuel source for growing tomatoes in glass houses,
not potatoes as they do not need heat, just lots of wonderful Irish
weather ... absolutely shite weather).
2. My only other real complaint was
that the weather on Saturday which was far far too good. Having
lived in this country for over 12 years, I think that this complaint
comes from the English/Anglo Irish side of me. My understanding of
English people, as a reserved and polite race, is that they do not
like to express themselves i.e. talk. The crap English weather is
such that it forces them to talk; either that or shiver to death. In
other words most English people are simply trying to keeping warm
when they talk to one another and that is the only reason why there
was so much banter this weekend. It had nothing to do with enjoyment
because English people, like the Irish like being miserable!!! (In
my opinion). If you do not believe me then take a trip on the London
Underground . it is warm even in Winter, no body shivers and
certainly nobody talks except foreigners and tourists. Thus my first
suggestion would be to ban English people from competing. This would
give them something other than the weather, politics and house
prices to complain about without having to shiver in the process.
3. Extend Day 3 by 20kms (we do not
use miles anymore in Ireland). Having completed Day 3 in record time
(by my lowly standards) and in the process of becoming shivery with
no desire to communicate (I am moving to the other side of the
cultural Irish Sea) I was forced to run Forest Gump style. I ran the
rest of the Druid's Ridge (to prove it existed) and having proved
that it did indeed exist I ran the whole way back looking for
Bunbury castle (where was the castle.... I felt cheated). In fact I
would not inform participants (cannot use the word competitor as it
is a politically incorrect word that could cause stress to those of
us who cannot do sub 3:30 50kms Ultras) and simply inform them of
the change in plans when they got to the .last but one. check point
on Day 3. To spice it up I would make it arbitrary in terms of not
making every competitor do it. Life is unfair and I think this "mass
participation event" should reflect this brutal fact of life. I
would of course suggest that the elite athletes run it as a matter
of course on the grounds of fairness. No I am not jealous of their
speed and stamina.
4. Make all the elite runners run
backwards. I saw this in action a few weeks ago when I competed in
the Dublin Marathon. A chap raced forward me (he was running
backwards so in theory he could not run past me). I managed to
forward him at Km 38, maintaining this position (9,958 out of 10,000
runners) to the very end. I do not think it would be fair to make
the elite runners run backwards and carry a portable loo (Health and
Safety Considerations) but at least you could provide them with
choice and we all know how important the word .choice. is in this
country where our Government likes think it provides us with choice
in terms of education, health ... If only I could have popped into
Chequers for afternoon tea with Tony and Cherie (Tony is refusing to
leave Chequers until he becomes EU President) and discussed .choice.
and what it means!!!!
5. Provide portable loos for those of
us who do not like to expose their neither regions to the elements.
By portable I do not mean having one positioned at each checkpoint
but have the elite athletes carry them around for out benefit. The
inspiration for this idea came from the 2009 MDS when a bunch of
Dutch people wheeled a toilet or some such contraption around the
desert .. as .one. does. We non elite runners would simply have to
whistle at them and they would come to our aid. We could have a
points/penalty system that rewards/punishes them in terms of how
quickly and how well they respond to us. How else am I going to
reduce the time differential between me and the elite runners?
6. Import some camels from Morocco
which would be used to ferry our gear around from one pit stop to
another. In addition to helping the MDSers acclimatise to the
Moroccan mode of transport, it would also:
7. Make all the MDS participants
sleep outside in Berber tents with no mats as there is no point in
having wet weather if we are not forced to enjoy it. We would shiver
much more, talk a lot lot more and by inference have a much better
time ... a win win situation. No doubt you would benefit from some
sort of volume discount if the camels and tents were purchased as
one job lot.
8. Ban the phrase .MDS. as it refers
to a competing event. Expel for life, anybody, heard saying it more
than 3 times. The Yanks have a similar system which is referred to
as "three strikes and you are out"; a base ball term that has
resulted in some people ending up in prison for life for steeling
sweats. Who ever said that sports was not dangerous?
9. Instead of dropping participants
off at Swindon Station on Sunday evening at the Train station,
simply drop them off at Tring at the start of the Tring to London 50
mile run (Country to Town) and have them complete another 50 miles
to London, where they could then pick up their bags at Euston
Station. Of course I would make the elites do the Ting to Tring via
London 100 Ultra. Everybody would benefit from a 2 for 1 offer with
out realising it. This idea is bound to be really attractive after
running 95 miles (includes the extra 20kms in point 2 above).
10. How many times did a pheasant
flush up in front of you from a field or hedge row as you went about
your run? How many times did you not wish you had a shot gun in hand
to do as any self respecting English man would do . shoot it to
smithereens? My suggestion would be to have a pheasant shoot on Day
2. The event could be sold as an English version of Nordic Skiing.
Participants could be forced to dress from head to foot in Barbour
and you could get commission for all such sales. Again a win win all
round, you earn some cash, we would learn to be a cultured English
gent and help cut down on your meat bill for the evening meal .
pheasant bolognaise . confusion cuisine at its best. There was also
a vast array of birds of pray on display in the countryside on all
three days. Why not offer falconry to those of who object to
violence and the use of guns and or Vegetarians on Day 2? For the
Vegans among us, a choice of bird shaped clay pigeons could be on
offer, rather like veggie burgers (makes no sense to me . imagine
going into a vegetarian restaurant and asking for a steak shaped
salad?)
Community
1. At nearly every event or process
that we get involved with these days we are asked for feedback in
the form of .how can we make the process better?... In truth it is
not the process that makes and event or experience better but the
people, the participants i.e. community. Community is a word that is
often used and misused. It is also something that is moving out of
the streets where neighbours do not talk to each other and moving
into cyber space where the same neighbours spend hours on the
internet communicating with their cyber community.
2. This was brought home to me when
Mr Rory Coleman and others mentioned that they are life long mates
with the people with whom they completed the MDS with. Why is that?
From all the reports I have read and heard, the MDS is like hell on
earth . extremeness in nature and weather for 7 days of torture not
to mention the fact that the French do not treat the non French
competitors particularly well.
3. For me it is down to communality.
You put a bunch of people in a pressure situation, they come
together, they watch out for each other, laugh, cry and eat together
and that is why people make friends for life, a community of mates
with a shared experience that they take with them for the rest of
their lives.
4. The Druids Challenge was no way
near as brutal as the MDS, but it was challenging and it did foster
a community spirit, a .can do. attitude that enabled people to sleep
with 180 other people in draft filled halls surrounded by snoring,
eat basic food without complaining, go to bed with feeling deprived
for not having watched TV, get up each day and wear the same wet
gear and have fun.
5. JFK once said .as not your country
can do for you but what you can do for your country.. In the same
way ask not what you could have done for us but what more we could
bring to the event that makes it an event that is even more
memorable that it was. That is a question for all of us and not one
I can answer for others. For me it would be a tent/buddy system like
they have at the MDS where we are put into groups who keep an eye on
each other . make sure we get back in the evening, hang out in the
same area of the hall, share advice on how to avoid the dreaded
blisters .. little thinks but thinks that make the difference
between having an experience and having an amazing experience.
